Seriously. Who am i?

As someone who didn't join a sorority at NU where as ALL my friends did, I became the go-to girl for dateless date parties, formals, etc. One night I accompanied one of my best friends to a date party at Sangria on Weed street after a long day of actually doing work (one of maybe 10 such days throughout my Northwestern career). To do said work, I drank countless red bulls, iced coffees, etc and ate almost no food. I think we all know what's coming next.

Pregame with some Lemon Drop shots and fill a half bottle of Melon Propel with some delicious Svedka. We get to Sangria and I am Gone. We arrived around 8, so people were eating dinner at the tables scattered around the bar, and I literally would wait for people to get up and leave and run to their tables before busboys could get there so that I could eat their bread/leftover food. The best part about the night was that no matter how drunk I got, I never blacked out. Strange.

After enjoying countless mojitos and glasses of sangria included in the open bar package, I decided I wanted to have sex. Seeing no prospects, I promptly ditched my friends (and even worse, an open bar), never told anyone where I was going, and left Sangria, texting my hook up buddy from home. He responded saying he would drive out to Evanston (almost an hour drive) so I got in a cab to head back to my apartment. I told the cabbie I only had 12 dollars and asked if he would take me home anyway (the cab should've cost around 20-25). He said that was fine as long as I sat in front with him and gave him my number. Done.

I arrive a block from home (didnt want the cabbie to know where I lived), fall as I'm getting out of the cab into a huge mud puddle, and proceed to be a complete mess as I try to make it to my place and up my stairs while taking off my mud soaked pants. At this point it was only maybe 11:30, so the rest of the girls who lived in my building who I wasnt really friends with, some of whom blatantly did not like me, witnessed this as they were heading to what I presume was the Deuce. Instead of saying hi I awkwardly walked past them pantless and fell into my place. I hopped in the shower since I was all muddy and had a boy coming over.

My last memory is getting a text from my guy saying he was almost there. I woke up in the morning, naked in bed with 567898 missed calls and texts from the friend I ditched at the date party, a very pissed off booty call who drove almost an hour for nothing, as well as texts from creepy cab driver.

I miss college.

Sorry for leaving an open bar event with almost an hour left. Not sorry for partying.

- Jacqueline
Chicago/Evanston, IL